I want you to take a trip with me, Curl Chasers. Close your eyes and imagine for a moment that you see a woman like the one pictured to the left. You're excited to see a fellow natural, so you head in her direction a smile spreading across your face. Just before you get to her she sees you, takes one look at you, and jerks her head away from you while rolling her eyes. You're taken aback, but you figure it must be a fluke. The next time you see another natural you try again and again with the same results. There seem to be a few exceptions such as naturals over 50, naturals you meet online, and naturals of other or blended ethnicities. Now, open your eyes. Pretty crazy trip, huh? Now, imagine that happening to you the entire time you've been natural...yeah, welcome to my experience with the natural community.
For those of you who don't know, my ethnicity is somewhat dubious. I'm ridiculously blended, but I wasn't raised to be conscious of it. I know I don't look like everyone else. As a child, the children in my neighborhood made sure that I knew that I both looked and talked funny (another story for another time). It took me a while to come to terms with who and what I am. When I decided to go natural, I never thought I'd face the same problem. My texture is...different. My curls are pretty tight, but my hair has Native American characteristics instead of African ones. Apparently, this was apparent to everyone but me until I did some research. I always marveled at Afro-textured hair. I loved the way it looked and the way it holds elaborate styles. I've always been fascinated by other textures as well, but mine was a mystery to me. I thought that joining the natural community would be just that joining a community of people united by their love of natural waves, curls, kinks, and everything in between. Instead, it just reminded me of the isolation that I felt as a child. It bothered me because it shouldn't be that way. The texture of your hair shouldn't determine how you treat another person any more than the color of their skin should.
Yes, our textures are diverse and unique, but we all have something we can learn from each other. We've all had our struggles with out natural hair whether we're Caucasian, African, Asian, Native American, etc. It's those struggles and the story of how we overcame them to embrace who we were created to be that makes us a community. That's why I started my blog. I wanted to reach those who felt left out because they didn't fit the natural stereotype. My natural sisters or brothers don't have to look like me or sound like me in order to be my sister or brother. Our bonds are strong and our experiences inspiring. The problem comes when we shun those bonds because the other person "doesn't know your struggle". You don't know theirs either. I don't believe in good hair or bad hair. I believe in healthy hair that you can't keep your hands off of because you love it. I believe that different textures are just that... different...not better just different.
I apologize for the length of this post, but this topic has been on my mind and my heart for a while. Recently, I joined meetups.com in order to find a group of fellow curlies that I could hang with and swap ideas. The ones in my area were for Black hair, kinky hair, and African-American hair. Just one problem...I don't have Black hair. I am Senegalese, Native American, Irish, Jamaican, and French. I am not one or the other. I am all of them. Looking at the members of the group and the description, I didn't think I'd be welcome and it made me sad. I don't live close enough to make it to NaturallyCurly or Curly Nikki meetups where the pictures show curlies of all shades and textures, so I suffer in silence. If you think I'm exaggerating, I leave you with one more story. I had to make a return to a major retail store, and the worker had to call her supervisor over. Her supervisor was a young woman with a beautiful head of Afro-textured hair. Even though I was the customer and she asked a question that only I could answer, she refused to talk to me or acknowledge my presence. Yes, I'm the only one in line that she treated like that then or since. Maybe it's where I live (the Deep South), I don't know. I do know that I'm probably not alone. Whether someone's curls are looser, tighter, coarser, finer, or longer than yours, it doesn't make them any less a natural than you are or vice versa. If you're reading this and you say "well, I don't treat anyone like that", good for you...pass it on. You may just stop someone from returning to the creamy crack because they felt more accepted with relaxed hair.
All the stories in this article are true and yes they happened to me. It just so happens that one of my dear friends has just big chopped. Now, I can actually say that I finally have a natural friend that I didn't meet on the interwebs. It's sad but true...don't let it happen to a curly near you. And if you see me around, just say hi. I'll be glad you did and I promise I don't bite :)
Later Days, Curl Chasers
~PJ
Yes, our textures are diverse and unique, but we all have something we can learn from each other. We've all had our struggles with out natural hair whether we're Caucasian, African, Asian, Native American, etc. It's those struggles and the story of how we overcame them to embrace who we were created to be that makes us a community. That's why I started my blog. I wanted to reach those who felt left out because they didn't fit the natural stereotype. My natural sisters or brothers don't have to look like me or sound like me in order to be my sister or brother. Our bonds are strong and our experiences inspiring. The problem comes when we shun those bonds because the other person "doesn't know your struggle". You don't know theirs either. I don't believe in good hair or bad hair. I believe in healthy hair that you can't keep your hands off of because you love it. I believe that different textures are just that... different...not better just different.
I apologize for the length of this post, but this topic has been on my mind and my heart for a while. Recently, I joined meetups.com in order to find a group of fellow curlies that I could hang with and swap ideas. The ones in my area were for Black hair, kinky hair, and African-American hair. Just one problem...I don't have Black hair. I am Senegalese, Native American, Irish, Jamaican, and French. I am not one or the other. I am all of them. Looking at the members of the group and the description, I didn't think I'd be welcome and it made me sad. I don't live close enough to make it to NaturallyCurly or Curly Nikki meetups where the pictures show curlies of all shades and textures, so I suffer in silence. If you think I'm exaggerating, I leave you with one more story. I had to make a return to a major retail store, and the worker had to call her supervisor over. Her supervisor was a young woman with a beautiful head of Afro-textured hair. Even though I was the customer and she asked a question that only I could answer, she refused to talk to me or acknowledge my presence. Yes, I'm the only one in line that she treated like that then or since. Maybe it's where I live (the Deep South), I don't know. I do know that I'm probably not alone. Whether someone's curls are looser, tighter, coarser, finer, or longer than yours, it doesn't make them any less a natural than you are or vice versa. If you're reading this and you say "well, I don't treat anyone like that", good for you...pass it on. You may just stop someone from returning to the creamy crack because they felt more accepted with relaxed hair.
All the stories in this article are true and yes they happened to me. It just so happens that one of my dear friends has just big chopped. Now, I can actually say that I finally have a natural friend that I didn't meet on the interwebs. It's sad but true...don't let it happen to a curly near you. And if you see me around, just say hi. I'll be glad you did and I promise I don't bite :)
Later Days, Curl Chasers
~PJ